Phewh. Hamza is asleep, and its so cold tonight. Adelaide has really been temperamental off late. Bouncing from one weather to another quite extremely. One day its sunny and hot, and the next day its all windy and cold. Nothing in between. I am starting to realise how often it is these days I find myself in situations that are very extreme. Always quite the opposite of each other.
I'll explain.
I am realising ( I think Im at this realisation phase, and I use the word 'realise' quite a lot too, I'm sorry- but this has to be done ), how the older I get, the less crowded I prefer my circle of friends to be. back in those days ( not far long ago haha ), I used to think, having many, many friends was what I needed. different sets, different needs. but these days, I think just as how complex marriage and parenting life is, I find myself erring more to a smaller circle.
Don't get me wrong - I am loving this phase of life, blessed infact, alhamdulillah. the complexity, challenges and great times are all parts and parcels of life that Im slowly learning and adapting as I go. I've had numerous occasions where I find myself regretting sharing certain things with a certain group or person, and getting awkward reactions after.
I was wrong to assume everyone would appreciate the things I do. I mean, surely, you've heard or read this a couple of hundred times, but it finally hit me, that wow. its so true. Not many are quite interested in what I think of things - though most of the time people ask rather than me telling, I've always been the type that'd share anyway, but I soon realised most often ask not simply to care, but just simply to know. And boy, how different are those two from each other.
Sharing - is such a positive word. Sharing brings the idea of care and love and empathy. I mean, thats why people do it in the first place, no ? But I've learnt how there are lesser and lesser things I'd want to share with people because quite obviously, most people would use the information to feed their own need.
Well long story short - I'm finding myself choosy over people. Something I hate doing, but it has now become a thing in me. I feel it, and its not a nice feeling either. But then again, I guess thats why they say, not everyone will be your cup of tea. I mean, really, you don't have to like everyone, right?
I think you do. I think I still should. Even to the ones I don't. I should find a space in my heart to like them at least a little. Because I think we are all in this together. and none of us are perfect, and we may have things that we don't see eye to eye, but I still at the end of the day, have to somehow like you, ultimately because, disliking is so tiring. it takes way more effort to dislike than to like.
Syakh Hamza used to write in the Purification of the Heart book, that one way to treat a diseased heart ( in this case like mine, because I have issues with people ) is to treat them with kindness. Regardless of how discomforting or painful it is, you kill the negativity with positive. Give gifts, make du'aa, just keep doing good. I don't usually agree with Selena Gomez, and I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm actually going to quote that song of hers, " kill them with kindness " lol. I'm joking, I love Selena Gomez, like really guys how pretty is she. And she's so so slim - I mean have you seen that episode of her eating fries and drinking coke on that karaoke car thing with James Corden?
I digress.
One thing I took note of upon entering marriage life, taking advice from Sheikh Hafiz, was to befriend the older generation. Those couples married for over 20 years, those are the people we need to surround ourselves with because they have the tips to a successful marriage life. They've gone through it, and they can give beneficial guidance.
But anyway, that was all I wanted to say. If it were up to me, id type a lot more but I'm not really feeling it.
I think friends are important in your life and I think choosing which ones to be close to is integral. Whilst family is important, I strongly believe friends also play a strong role in shaping who you are and how you behave. Choose good natured souls, will make you into one. And if you choose those with the opposite, most likely we would end up the same.
I pray to always stay blessed with my great set of friends if not more. And I pray Hamza to be blessed with the same too. I feel that tonight, after reassessing my life, Allah has really protected our family to stay within a circle that protects and enhances our spiritual needs. Those are the best set of friends. Ones who reminds you of your true, sole purpose of being in this life. And I pray you be blessed with the same too.
Goodnight!
x
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